Marriage Counseling: Do Your Paths Converge or Diverge?

No matter how long you have been married, chances are you have a lot invested in your marriage. For most people, the idea of marriage doesn’t occur unless they’re ready for a commitment, a lifelong partner and possibly even children.

This is why most of us take our time getting married unlike our parents or grandparents. You just don’t meet people who tell you that the first time they saw their spouse-to-be, they thought, “I’m going to marry that girl/boy.” Wouldn’t it be great if things were that simple for all of us nowadays?

Things People Think About Before Getting Married

Before getting hitched, most of us have to think about our financial situation, where we are in our career, where the other person is in their career, whether either or both want children, whether any relocation will be necessary etc.

Aside from physical attraction, we have to consider whether there are any common interests, whether one person is a homebody while the other is outgoing, whether the two people are going to have time to spend with each other given their schedules etc.

It’s a lot to consider, which is why most of us take our time and often try out living together before popping the question.

Why You Should Fight for Your Marriage

Given all the thought that you’ve probably put into whether or not you should get married, it’s safe to assume that you wouldn’t want things to end just because one aspect of the marriage doesn’t work out.

There are, of course, times when it doesn’t seem like a marriage is meant to last e.g., if the issues that the couple disagree on are serious, such as whether or not to have children.

It’s only when it seems like you and your partner are on completely different paths that you might want to give up and focus on where you’re going. In all other cases, why not try marriage counseling?

Relationship Advice: To Take or Not to Take, That Is the Question!

No matter where you turn nowadays, you’re likely to get relationship advice. It’s a topic on which everyone feels they’re qualified, whether they are in a good relationship themselves or not. Some of the usual culprits include parents, siblings, married and unmarried friends and even work colleagues.

Should You Listen to Relationship Advice?

It’s easy to react to the barrage of information and advice and get annoyed or irritated. After all, it’s your life. So why should you listen to what anyone has to say? Your way of having a relationship might be quite different from theirs. The things you’re looking for might also be quite different. So it doesn’t make any sense to conduct your relationship in the way someone else would.

Qualities Needed in Any Relationship

Aren’t there certain things that are needed in every relationship such as a healthy dose of patience and understanding? Don’t you have to be a good listener and allow the other person to vent whenever they need to? Don’t you have to be cognizant of your own needs and communicate them to the other person to make sure that they’re being met?

A Relationship Involves a Delicate Balance

In a relationship, you have to think about yourself as well as the other person. If you focus too much on any one, then the relationship becomes lopsided. For example, if you’re constantly thinking of the other person in the relationship and putting your own needs second, this will eventually put a lot of pressure on that person to live up to your expectations. And they may end up feeling inadequate when they’re not able to do so.

In some ways, being selfless can destroy a relationship as well as being selfish. This is something that all the people offering advice may not be able to tell you, because it goes against conventional wisdom.

Money Musts When you Split up

divorce proceedings

One of life’s most difficult events occurs when a couple decides to split up.  So it should come as no surprise there are potentially significant financial consequences attached to the separation as well.  Although it is an emotionally difficult time, there are things you can do financially that can help mitigate at least the financial impact of such a significant life event.

Some of the money musts when you split up include establishing your own accounts that only you can access.  This also means closing all your joint accounts with your former spouse, including any credit card accounts.  In addition, change any PINs or passwords for any current accounts you have in your name only, if you think your ex-spouse could guess what they are.

Contact your mortgage lender or landlord and any utility or phone companies to let them know of your separation.  Depending on whether you are the one staying or leaving, update all these types of financial contracts to either remove your name or your former spouse’s name.  If you have vehicle loans or even if your vehicles are paid off, you will need to determine who will take possession of these types of assets.  If you have any life insurance policies or a will, you’ll want update them to remove any references to your former spouse.

When it comes to issues such as child care and legal division of assets and liabilities, you need to seek independent legal help even if you are on good terms with your ex-spouse.  By contacting an expert on legal and financial matters with regard to divorce proceedings, you can hopefully minimize the disruption that takes place as you and perhaps your children transition to a new life.

Contact us today for help with regards to financial matters when entering into divorce proceedings.


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