Back to the Basics: Keep Your Relationship Alive
There are tons of sources and/or material to read, listen to, and interact with if we ever need help with our relationships. It seems most relationships would last because of this fact. However, the divorce rate continues to increase in our society, while many choose not to enter the union of marriage. Everyone has an opinion on how to make a relationship last, but everyone doesn’t put in the work to make it a reality. Action is way more effective than talking (in some cases) when it comes to our relationships. We just need to go back to the basics so we don’t lose sight of why our relationship is important to us. A few of the basic ways are listed as follows:
- Continue dating. Remember how excited it was to go on the first date with your partner. You looked forward to wearing a nice outfit, going to a new place, and just having a new experience together. This is what started the relationship, so it should never end.
- Make your home a work-free zone. We spend the majority of our time at work due to the fact that most of us have 40+ hour work weeks. With that being said, make your home a work-free zone. Make your partner the main focus once you arrive home from work. Too often, we get involved in the details of our day and don’t realize how work carries over into our personal lives and relationship. Try to maintain the work/life balance by always keeping your relationship as the priority.
- Get away from it all.If you have a full-time career and kids, you understand how life can just get away from you. It’s important to take a step back and let it all go, for at least 15 minutes or so anyway. Decide what is best for you and your partner and make a choice to check-in daily, weekly, etc. Use this time without interruption from the kids, television, computers, or phones. This check-in time is all about the partnership you have and making an effort to stay connected outside of your daily obligations.
- Break the routine. Having a routine is great but it makes for a very boring relationship. Spontaneity can put the spark and desire back into a dull relationship. We are all creatures of habit in some form or another. Make a conscious effort to do things out of your norm. This will also show your partner you can go with the flow of things in order to make them happy.
- Never stop communicating.Communication makes a great foundation for a stable relationship. You should always talk openly with your partner because only great relationships exist in the light. Communication allows you and your partner to hold on to the good things, avoid the negative things, and to continue the work to maintain your bond.
- Know what makes your partner feel loved. We all give and accept love differently. Although we may think buying someone a gift is the ultimate sign of love, your partner may feel that spending quality time is the best way. We can’t make our way of loving acceptable to our partner and vice versa. Have a conversation with your partner if you don’t know what makes them feel loved. That in itself could make a world of difference in your relationship.
These are just a few things you can do to make sure your relationship doesn’t fade away. Above all, never give up. Your relationship will last if you make the conscious effort to always try to make it work.
Is There a Wrong Way to Forgive?
Forgiveness is a touchy topic that we all hear about at different times in our lives. It’s biblical, philosophical, psychological and just plain good for the soul. Everyone knows that we’re supposed to forgive, but what about how to forgive? Is there a wrong way to give your forgiveness to someone? We can answer that question by discussing three other questions.
1. What Is Forgiveness?
The definition of forgiveness is the spiritual or emotional release of another person’s wrongdoing. When you forgive someone, you let go of any anger or resentment you have about the deed. Forgiving doesn’t mean that you forget. It just means that you are willing to release the negative feelings associated with the act that hurt you.
2. Who Is Forgiveness For?
Forgiveness does not belong to the person who committed the wrong unless that person specifically asks for it. It’s usually for the victim or the one who is forgiving. It benefits that person because it releases him or her from poisonous feelings and emotions.
3. What Does Forgiveness Do?
Forgiveness sets the hurt person free. Therefore, you can take power over your life back if you forgive someone. Reclaiming your control is a huge step. It completely separates you from the pain and allows you to live a healthy life that does not involve the shackles of bitterness.
It doesn’t matter how you forgive because you’re not doing it for the other person. You’re doing it for yourself. Furthermore, there is no set-in-stone directive on giving forgiveness, and there is no particular forgiveness ritual you need to perform. You just have to be sincere when you give it and be willing to release all the ugliness that may accumulate.
At the end of the day, the only wrong way to forgive is not to forgive at all. Revisit us for tips and information on finances, relationships, and recovery.
Core Values and the Key to Communication in Relationships
So much has been said about the importance of communication in relationships. Whole books have been written about it, including the well-known Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. And still, the distance between Mars and Venus continues. No one knows how to heal the rift.
And the worst thing is that once there is a miscommunication, it quickly snowballs into more and more miscommunication until you’re having a full-blown fight. If this describes you and your partner, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
Do You Have the Same Core Values?
Sometimes, the problem is not really a lack of communication but certain essential differences between people. One person might believe in the joys of having children while the other might think of children as unnecessary baggage. One person might not think too much about sex before marriage while the other person might believe in celibacy.
These are core beliefs which are very hard to alter and you need to think about whether you can live with them. In the case of celibacy, the problem is solved after getting married. But in the case of children, it’s something you might have to live with for the rest of your life. So think about whether it’s a problem of miscommunication or whether it’s really a difference in core beliefs.
Have You Done Everything You Can?
The truth is that everyone knows the secret of good communication. If you look back at all your good relationships, what do they have in common? A willingness to listen? Respecting the other person’s boundaries? General kindness? Praise and encouragement? No matter how you put it, the end result is the same—getting along, having a good time, having fun etc.
You need to seriously ask yourself whether you’re doing these things in your relationship now. Most people find that the key to good communication is in their hands; they just have to use it.