Marriage Problems

Being a Trustworthy Person

trustworthyThere is a wikiHow on what it means to be a trustworthy person, so it is something that people want to know how to do and are just not sure how to get there. So what is it that people are searching for? What qualities should a person have to be considered trustworthy?

Honesty

Being an honest person is the first and most important quality that someone should have to be considered a trustworthy person. There is a reason that you hear people say “honesty is the best policy”. If you are not being honest with the people around you and with yourself how is anyone supposed to trust you? Simply put, they can’t. Some people may think that an honest answer to a person’s questions may be considered too harsh and that lying to them will spare them. While your intentions may be good, more people would rather you tell them a harsh truth than a nice lie.

Reliability

If you tell someone you are going to do something then you have to do it. If you make a promise and don’t keep it then people will stop taking you at your word. If you feel as though you will not be able to keep to a commitment then you have to let whoever know that you will not be able to keep it as soon as possible and apologize for any mistake. People that cancel plans last minute are considered unreliable trusting someone who is unreliable is very difficult.

Compassion

If you are a compassionate person people will be more likely to trust you. If you think about a scenario and can reverse the roles and put yourself in someone’s shoes you are able to be compassionate. Compassion and kindness go hand in hand; if you can show someone compassion you are being kind to that person. Being nice to someone will help them trust you, how often do you trust the person that’s rude or inconsiderate? Most people steer clear of those that are inconsiderate.

Being aware of these traits about yourself is important if you want people, especially your partner, to trust you. If you tell the truth you never have to remember what lie you told and to who to keep your story straight. Do the things you say you’re going to do, if you don’t want to do something, do not commit to it. Be kind to people around you, and treat others how you want to be treated. Remember these things and keep them in the back of your mind all the times, staying conscious of these things will help make you a trustworthy person.

5 Tips for Trusting After an Unhealthy Relationship

If you have experienced unhealthy relationships in your life, it can be difficult to trust – not just a significant other but also your own judgement. This can stem back to childhood, if you lived in a home where you experienced domestic violence. If you are an adult survivor, it can connect to that as well.

Not all relationships are unhealthy, so how do you rebuild your ability to trust after surviving such experiences? There is no exact formula, but there are several steps we can take to help us trust.

  1. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. You need to have compassion for yourself. Being honest with your partner is difficult if you’ve experienced unhealthy relationships, but your partner deserves that honesty.
  2. Seek help from trained professionals. There is no shame in scheduling an appointment with a therapist. Let the therapist help you tackle issues of distrust. They have a clinical, outside perspective that can aid you along in your process of trust.
  3. Write about your issues. Writing is cathartic and therapeutic. By slowing yourself down to really focus on issues such as trust, you can work through them.
  4. Listen to your heart and mind. Ask yourself, am I not trusting my partner because of my own trust issues? Or is something funky going on that I need to be concerned about? Learning to trust your heart and mind can help you help yourself.
  5. Feel the pain. We don’t go to bed one night and wake up healed. It’s a process. Hiding the pain inside is like hiding the problem. You can’t grapple with it, working through it for a better future without acknowledging what hurts.

It’s important to trust yourself and your partner. You deserve a happy future with someone you love. You also deserve to love yourself. So, practice trusting and give yourself a little compassion.

How trust can affect a health relationship

trust in a relationshipAs you know, trust is vital to any healthy romantic relationship. Still, it can be difficult to trust. There are many reasons we may distrust our significant other, including the reality that they may have betrayed our trust.

That said, our own life experiences impact our own views on trust as well. Here are three experiences that may impact us:

  1. Self-esteem issues. Many of us struggle with managing our self-esteem, which can come from a variety of experiences. For example, if we experienced social rejection as a child/teen, were betrayed and/or abandoned by someone we love, or experienced bullying, we may feel like we don’t deserve love. That makes it easy for mistrust to infiltrate relationships as adults. Early life experiences play a significant role in our development.
  2. Abuse. Trusting a significant other after being in an abusive relationship is difficult. Living in an abusive household as a child can make it difficult to trust as well. This impacts our belief in the central goodness and trustworthiness of others. As in issues with self-esteem, mistrust takes root.
  3. Previous infidelity. When you have been cheated on, it is easy to start seeing betrayal around every corner. Even once you have moved on from that unhealthy relationship, little nagging thoughts can begin to sneak in, undermining your faith.

One of the healthiest steps you can take to handle issues of mistrust is to have a conversation with your significant other. Let them know if you are struggling due to previous experiences. A loving partner in a healthy relationship will support you and ask how to help. This may mean seeing a therapist, volunteering, attending self-esteem workshops, or finding other ways to strengthen your relationship. Indeed, this can help you to trust your partner and move you towards a happy, fulfilled life together!

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