Couples therapy

Preventing Infidelity

Preventing InfidelityCommunication is the key to any successful relationship. Being able to speak openly with your partner about anything is important and being able to bring up uncomfortable topics, like infidelity, is of the utmost importance. Discussing the hard topics is difficult for both partners involved but needs to be done relatively soon in a relationship. Waiting until marriage to discuss what you each consider cheating will not do any good. This will leave room for one of you to cross a line that you didn’t know existed. Being open and honest from the start will help keep your relationship on the right track to stay happy and healthy.

There are many reasons that people cheat so make sure that not knowing each other’s boundaries isn’t one of them. Setting clear boundaries is extremely important early on in a relationship so that you know your partner’s expectations and they know yours. You have to know what your partner considers cheating and what, if anything, you disagree on. Your partner may consider you having drinks with your ex as cheating, while you encourage your partner to have a friendship with their ex. These distinctions are important for each partner involved to understand and respect. Many people may think that cheating is entirely physical, however; it is possible to cheat on your partner without touching anyone. Emotional cheating is sometimes considered worse than having a sexual encounter with someone because of that connection that you share. Your partner wants to be the only person that you feel a truly deep, emotional connection to. Some partners may feel more betrayed by you having an emotional attachment to someone then you having a physical encounter with a stranger. Setting boundaries will help prevent misunderstandings when it comes to infidelity, among other things.

If you’ve passed this point in your relationship and a boundary has already been crossed it does not mean the relationship is over. Boundaries are important to set whenever you and your partner decide to talk about it. If someone has already crossed a line or you just want to take preventative measures, it is best to seek advice from a licensed therapist. Therapy is not just for people struggling to keep their relationships together. It is also good for maintenance. We see a doctor for everything else. Getting a checkup on the health of your relationship is just as important as a physical that you get.

Be honest with yourself and your partner about your expectations in your relationship. Help to prevent infidelity in your relationship by having open discussions, setting boundaries, and consulting with a professional to maintain the health of your relationship.

Start your marriage on the right foot: Why combining finances as a couple is so important

Starting your marriage off on the right foot1You just married the person of your dreams. You are so excited to start your life together! You are so excited to buy the home, and start the family. There’s just one thing you can’t bring your self to do yet. Combine your finances. You know that one of the biggest reasons couples fight is over money. Keeping your finances separate only makes it worse. But how does one get over that hurdle?

A good marriage is built on trust:

It can be tough sharing your money with someone else. The other person has a say in how your paycheck gets spent, and that can be very daunting. However, now you are accountable to someone else. Just like your spouse is accountable to you. You have to trust that your spouse is a responsible spender. If that is not the case a conversation needs to happen soon.

If makes the two of you discuss money:

This may not sound like the most fun of conversations, but it is an important one for a strong marriage. The two of you need to discuss your goals with your money. When do you want to retire? When do you want to buy a house? How much do we need to save up each month to put aside for a down payment? These questions need to be addressed by both of you.

It ensures there are no secrets:

Secrets in a marriage are so destructive. Combining finances helps to put everything out in the open, and eliminates financial secrets. If you combine finances early on in your marriage it helps nip issues in the bud. Gambling or retail therapy issues that need to be resolved. It is better to resolve them early on in the marriage than letting them fester.

One of the top reasons couples fight is money. Let us help you resolve,or prevent those money arguments from happening. Call us today for a quote.

Trust Issues: Betrayal vs. Early Patterns

Trust IssuesTrust is the bedrock of any relationship. Unless you trust the other person to be faithful to you, to be good to you and to tell you the truth, you’re not going to get very far in a relationship. Imagine a relationship in which you’re constantly suspecting that the other person is lying to you. This is not as rare as you might imagine. There are many relationships in which people experience a lot of doubt. Some are sure that the other person is lying to them about money. Others feel like they’re being cheated on even if they have no proof.

Why Do Trust Issues Arise?

There are times when this trust issue arises from a betrayal but there are also times when it’s completely unnecessary i.e., the other person might not be doing anything to betray your trust but you still have doubts about them. Sometimes, not trusting the other person is a pattern that people get into when they are young. Maybe they saw the same pattern existing between their parents. Or maybe their first relationship ended badly when they were at an impressionable age. Either way, people like this are never able to trust others because they’ve made up their minds that no one in the world is trustworthy.

Being with Someone Who Doesn’t Trust You

Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you can be very frustrating. No matter how much you try to show the other person that you love them, they refuse to believe you. And they twist the evidence present so that it’s in their favor. Any little thing you do wrong is taken as evidence of your lack of love and your lack of trustworthiness. Being in a relationship like this takes a toll on the partner who is constantly running around trying to prove their love.

Can You Make Someone Trust You?

If this describes you, you need to take a step back and think about whether the other person really has a reason not to trust you or whether they just don’t trust you because of baggage they’re carrying around from the past. Because if it’s the latter, then there’s not much you can do to resolve the issue. But if their lack of trust arose because of a betrayal on your part, then you can try counseling, learn to communicate better and of course, behave in a trustworthy manner from that point forward.

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