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5 Tips to Communicate Successfully with Your Partner When Stressed

communication when stressedWe all go through difficult and stressful times in our lives and relationships. It’s normal and expected. However, it can also place a strain on our relationships – even if it’s something like work, school, or other life-changes causing the stress.

Whatever the reason you’re feeling stressed, it’s important to maintain healthy communication with your partner. Start with these 5 tips to get you started:

  1. Be aware of your stress. As adults, we’ve lived with ourselves for at least two decades now. We know how our bodies react to stress and what tips us over the edge. When you feel yourself becoming stressed, let your partner know. If you are both aware of it, you can support each other by making a point not to take stress out on one another and/or not take it personally if our partner slips up and says something unhelpful.
  2. Embrace empathy. Empathy is difficult sometimes, especially if we don’t understand why someone is reacting a certain way. If your partner is stressed out, let them know you have empathy and are there to support them – even if you don’t get it. Offer to listen to their stressors, emotions, and heartache non-judgmentally. Afterwards, ask what they need from you.
  3. Apologize. Stress can make us snippy, mean, and unhappy. If you find yourself making verbal swipes at your partner, check yourself and your communication style. If you say something mean or unsupportive, apologize. Let your partner know you appreciate your support.
  4. Reduce the stress. Take a deep breath before your communicate with your partner in order to manage your stress and emotions in the short term. In the long term, find a way to manage your stress effectively. Not only will this help your physical, mental, and emotional health, but it will also strengthen your relationship.
  5. Practice healthy communication. By practicing healthy communication with your partner on a daily basis, it will be easier to communicate in difficult situations when you are experiencing stress. Rather than falling back on bad habits, you’ll be able to fall back on healthy habits that keep your relationship strong!

Contact us at Albuquerque Family Counseling to help keep your relationship strong!

Best Practices for a Marriage: Keep the Romance Alive!

keeping the love aliveRecently married? Adjusting to happy changes in life is an adventure, especially with someone you love. It can also be a little intimidating–and that is okay! There are many adjustments that take place once you tie the knot, and sometimes romance gets lost in the transition of your relationship from dating to engaged to married couple.

While you adjust to married life and tackle these adjustments together, it is important to keep the romance alive. By making time for romance, you show your commitment to one another and keep that spark burning, even when change makes it difficult.

Keeping the romance alive in your relationship is one of our best practices for a successful marriage. Every relationship is different, and, as a couple, you know what works for you.

That said, here are a few best practice tips to help you make time for romance during the day-to-day grind:

  1. Spend time together – alone. Although you may spend time together every day, carve out special date nights or outings just for the two of you. Turn of your cellphone. Lock your doors. Ignore the internet. Spending time together strengthens your relationship, and as you brainstorm ways to spend your special time together you show your partner how important he or she is to you.
  2. Learn their love language. We all have different love languages. Get to know your partner’s love language, and use that to make him or her feel extra special. If you have different love languages, this may take research and thinking outside the box. That’s okay…it shows how much you truly care!
  3. Try something new. Trying something new is a great way to bond, laugh, and spend time together all at the same time. It will strengthen your relationship and keep your relationship fresh. You’ll make great memories together.
  4. Say the words. Yes, you love each other. You even dedicated your life to each other. What more do you need? Why, to reaffirm your love, of course! Make sure you remind your partner of your love every day. Even when you’re frustrated, tired, dirty – say the words.

What works for your partner? How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship? It is key to remember that all relationships take work, especially as your adjusting to change in your life.

InfidelityThe High Stakes of Infidelity – Part 1

There are probably a million and one reasons as to why one of the partners in a marriage decides to indulge in infidelity.  Sometimes it is a one time betrayal, whereas in other relationships the cheating partner returns again and again to unfaithfulness.  No matter how little or how many times it happens, the faithful partner almost always seriously considers immediately ending the marriage.  Yet as painful as betrayal is, some couples actually honor their commitment to one another, repair their marriage and go on to live faithfully to and for each other.  So what are some of the critical factors that lead to a repaired marriage after infidelity?

In this two-part series, we will explore some of these critical factors.

How Many Times?

When the affair is first uncovered, almost every wounded partner wants to know how many times did the cheating occur.  Of course, every interaction of unfaithful intimacy matters deeply to the wounded spouse.  If the unfaithfulness consisted of an unplanned one-time occurrence, there is most likely a greater chance of forgiveness than discovering your partner indulged in serial infidelity.

Commitment and Personal Faith

In these days of no-fault divorce and re-marriages galore, it is easy to assume that all marriages should dissolve after infidelity.  However, many people still value the seriousness in which they entered their marriage commitment, and the vow they made before their God is not something they want to break.  Some people choose to lean very heavily on their faith to carry them through their most painful moments and decide to stay after many months of soul-searching, religious counseling and finding wisdom and strength through their spiritual faith.

In part two, we will explore the last critical factor and offer some advice on how to arrive at the best outcome after infidelity.

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