Start your marriage on the right foot: Why combining finances as a couple is so important
You just married the person of your dreams. You are so excited to start your life together! You are so excited to buy the home, and start the family. There’s just one thing you can’t bring your self to do yet. Combine your finances. You know that one of the biggest reasons couples fight is over money. Keeping your finances separate only makes it worse. But how does one get over that hurdle?
A good marriage is built on trust:
It can be tough sharing your money with someone else. The other person has a say in how your paycheck gets spent, and that can be very daunting. However, now you are accountable to someone else. Just like your spouse is accountable to you. You have to trust that your spouse is a responsible spender. If that is not the case a conversation needs to happen soon.
If makes the two of you discuss money:
This may not sound like the most fun of conversations, but it is an important one for a strong marriage. The two of you need to discuss your goals with your money. When do you want to retire? When do you want to buy a house? How much do we need to save up each month to put aside for a down payment? These questions need to be addressed by both of you.
It ensures there are no secrets:
Secrets in a marriage are so destructive. Combining finances helps to put everything out in the open, and eliminates financial secrets. If you combine finances early on in your marriage it helps nip issues in the bud. Gambling or retail therapy issues that need to be resolved. It is better to resolve them early on in the marriage than letting them fester.
One of the top reasons couples fight is money. Let us help you resolve,or prevent those money arguments from happening. Call us today for a quote.
Commitment is a crucial piece of any relationship, but commitment looks different to everyone.
Once upon a time, many looked at marriage as the ultimate symbol of commitment to another person. However, many Millennials are choosing to forgo marriage completely in favor of unmarried partnerships.
Does this mean Millennials are less committed to their romantic partners? Absolutely not. Instead, it shows a significant change in what commitment looks like within this generation.
That is okay, because your relationship is your relationship. No one else gets to decide what that looks like, as long as both you and your significant other are happy.
When considering commitment in your relationship, consider the following points determine what your commitment should like!
- First, start by asking what advice on commitment would you give to another person. Your answers will identify your beliefs on commitment.
- Ask each other what commitment means to them. This conversation allows you to agree on a set of standards you want in your relationship to signify your love and commitment to one another.
- Actions speak louder than works! Once you have agreed upon what commitment looks like in your relationship, follow through with making those actions part of your relationship.
- Spending time together signifies commitment in any relationship, although the amount of time you spend together may change depending on your personal preferences. Are you good living across the country and seeing each other once a month? Fantastic! How will you spend that time together? Do you live in the same home? Awesome! How will you spend your time together?
- Finally, put yourself in your significant other’s shoes. Doing so will help you understand what they need and where they are coming from. Part of a relationship is that give and take, so truly trying to experience it as their partner shows your dedication.
Marriage Counseling: Do Your Paths Converge or Diverge?
No matter how long you have been married, chances are you have a lot invested in your marriage. For most people, the idea of marriage doesn’t occur unless they’re ready for a commitment, a lifelong partner and possibly even children.
This is why most of us take our time getting married unlike our parents or grandparents. You just don’t meet people who tell you that the first time they saw their spouse-to-be, they thought, “I’m going to marry that girl/boy.” Wouldn’t it be great if things were that simple for all of us nowadays?
Things People Think About Before Getting Married
Before getting hitched, most of us have to think about our financial situation, where we are in our career, where the other person is in their career, whether either or both want children, whether any relocation will be necessary etc.
Aside from physical attraction, we have to consider whether there are any common interests, whether one person is a homebody while the other is outgoing, whether the two people are going to have time to spend with each other given their schedules etc.
It’s a lot to consider, which is why most of us take our time and often try out living together before popping the question.
Why You Should Fight for Your Marriage
Given all the thought that you’ve probably put into whether or not you should get married, it’s safe to assume that you wouldn’t want things to end just because one aspect of the marriage doesn’t work out.
There are, of course, times when it doesn’t seem like a marriage is meant to last e.g., if the issues that the couple disagree on are serious, such as whether or not to have children.
It’s only when it seems like you and your partner are on completely different paths that you might want to give up and focus on where you’re going. In all other cases, why not try marriage counseling?