Start your marriage on the right foot: Why combining finances as a couple is so important
You just married the person of your dreams. You are so excited to start your life together! You are so excited to buy the home, and start the family. There’s just one thing you can’t bring your self to do yet. Combine your finances. You know that one of the biggest reasons couples fight is over money. Keeping your finances separate only makes it worse. But how does one get over that hurdle?
A good marriage is built on trust:
It can be tough sharing your money with someone else. The other person has a say in how your paycheck gets spent, and that can be very daunting. However, now you are accountable to someone else. Just like your spouse is accountable to you. You have to trust that your spouse is a responsible spender. If that is not the case a conversation needs to happen soon.
If makes the two of you discuss money:
This may not sound like the most fun of conversations, but it is an important one for a strong marriage. The two of you need to discuss your goals with your money. When do you want to retire? When do you want to buy a house? How much do we need to save up each month to put aside for a down payment? These questions need to be addressed by both of you.
It ensures there are no secrets:
Secrets in a marriage are so destructive. Combining finances helps to put everything out in the open, and eliminates financial secrets. If you combine finances early on in your marriage it helps nip issues in the bud. Gambling or retail therapy issues that need to be resolved. It is better to resolve them early on in the marriage than letting them fester.
One of the top reasons couples fight is money. Let us help you resolve,or prevent those money arguments from happening. Call us today for a quote.
Infidelity, Relationship Patterns and Trusting Your Partner
Infidelity is one of the hardest things to get over in a relationship. Once you start to think of the other person as untrustworthy, it’s difficult to continue a relationship with them no matter how much they might still want to be with you.
There are certain times when a divorce might seem like the best idea. But there are other times when working on the marriage might seem better. Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself before you make a decision:
How Solid Was Your Relationship Before the Infidelity?
Many people blame infidelity for their breakups but they fail to consider what the relationship was like before the infidelity occurred. Did the two of you spend a lot of time together? Did you have fun on your date nights? Did you have a good sex life?
The fact that a relationship wasn’t doing well doesn’t excuse infidelity but at least it serves to explain it. And if you do decide to continue to be with that person, then the two of you will need to work on your relationship together.
Do You Have a Relationship Pattern of Infidelity?
Every one of us has a pattern in relationships. Some of us are searching for the love we didn’t receive from our parents. Others are looking for someone to save. And some of us tend to fall for people who are in love with someone else or who are not totally committed to us. We get a high from competing for that person’s love. This could be because, as children, we competed with our siblings for the love of our parents.
Of course, it’s very difficult to spot when you’re in a pattern like this. But if you’ve been in a string of relationships where infidelity has been a problem, then you need to ask yourself why you’re falling for these people. Do you unknowingly reject candidates who seem faithful and trustworthy? Spotting a pattern is the first step towards getting out of it.
Call us today to help you break the pattern.
Relationship Advice: To Take or Not to Take, That Is the Question!
No matter where you turn nowadays, you’re likely to get relationship advice. It’s a topic on which everyone feels they’re qualified, whether they are in a good relationship themselves or not. Some of the usual culprits include parents, siblings, married and unmarried friends and even work colleagues.
Should You Listen to Relationship Advice?
It’s easy to react to the barrage of information and advice and get annoyed or irritated. After all, it’s your life. So why should you listen to what anyone has to say? Your way of having a relationship might be quite different from theirs. The things you’re looking for might also be quite different. So it doesn’t make any sense to conduct your relationship in the way someone else would.
Qualities Needed in Any Relationship
Aren’t there certain things that are needed in every relationship such as a healthy dose of patience and understanding? Don’t you have to be a good listener and allow the other person to vent whenever they need to? Don’t you have to be cognizant of your own needs and communicate them to the other person to make sure that they’re being met?
A Relationship Involves a Delicate Balance
In a relationship, you have to think about yourself as well as the other person. If you focus too much on any one, then the relationship becomes lopsided. For example, if you’re constantly thinking of the other person in the relationship and putting your own needs second, this will eventually put a lot of pressure on that person to live up to your expectations. And they may end up feeling inadequate when they’re not able to do so.
In some ways, being selfless can destroy a relationship as well as being selfish. This is something that all the people offering advice may not be able to tell you, because it goes against conventional wisdom.