Is There a Wrong Way to Forgive?
Forgiveness is a touchy topic that we all hear about at different times in our lives. It’s biblical, philosophical, psychological and just plain good for the soul. Everyone knows that we’re supposed to forgive, but what about how to forgive? Is there a wrong way to give your forgiveness to someone? We can answer that question by discussing three other questions.
1. What Is Forgiveness?
The definition of forgiveness is the spiritual or emotional release of another person’s wrongdoing. When you forgive someone, you let go of any anger or resentment you have about the deed. Forgiving doesn’t mean that you forget. It just means that you are willing to release the negative feelings associated with the act that hurt you.
2. Who Is Forgiveness For?
Forgiveness does not belong to the person who committed the wrong unless that person specifically asks for it. It’s usually for the victim or the one who is forgiving. It benefits that person because it releases him or her from poisonous feelings and emotions.
3. What Does Forgiveness Do?
Forgiveness sets the hurt person free. Therefore, you can take power over your life back if you forgive someone. Reclaiming your control is a huge step. It completely separates you from the pain and allows you to live a healthy life that does not involve the shackles of bitterness.
It doesn’t matter how you forgive because you’re not doing it for the other person. You’re doing it for yourself. Furthermore, there is no set-in-stone directive on giving forgiveness, and there is no particular forgiveness ritual you need to perform. You just have to be sincere when you give it and be willing to release all the ugliness that may accumulate.
At the end of the day, the only wrong way to forgive is not to forgive at all. Revisit us for tips and information on finances, relationships, and recovery.
Core Values and the Key to Communication in Relationships
So much has been said about the importance of communication in relationships. Whole books have been written about it, including the well-known Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. And still, the distance between Mars and Venus continues. No one knows how to heal the rift.
And the worst thing is that once there is a miscommunication, it quickly snowballs into more and more miscommunication until you’re having a full-blown fight. If this describes you and your partner, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
Do You Have the Same Core Values?
Sometimes, the problem is not really a lack of communication but certain essential differences between people. One person might believe in the joys of having children while the other might think of children as unnecessary baggage. One person might not think too much about sex before marriage while the other person might believe in celibacy.
These are core beliefs which are very hard to alter and you need to think about whether you can live with them. In the case of celibacy, the problem is solved after getting married. But in the case of children, it’s something you might have to live with for the rest of your life. So think about whether it’s a problem of miscommunication or whether it’s really a difference in core beliefs.
Have You Done Everything You Can?
The truth is that everyone knows the secret of good communication. If you look back at all your good relationships, what do they have in common? A willingness to listen? Respecting the other person’s boundaries? General kindness? Praise and encouragement? No matter how you put it, the end result is the same—getting along, having a good time, having fun etc.
You need to seriously ask yourself whether you’re doing these things in your relationship now. Most people find that the key to good communication is in their hands; they just have to use it.
How Younger Generations are Changing Marriage and Commitment
The idea of committing to and marrying one person seems to have grown stale. Many people are not as committed to relationships as they were in the past. Marriage rates are down for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean that the younger generations aren’t staying committed to one another. Younger generations are forgoing a lot of what may be deemed a more traditional life progression by not getting married and having kids or delaying those milestones. There are several reasons why these patterns are emerging. Women are not relying on men like they used to, people are filling their time with other activities, and many people think marriage is outdated.
Women are empowered. Women are no longer reliant on getting married to have a man support them. Women are now empowered and making their own living and no longer need to stay in an unhappy relationship because they need to be taken care of. There are still people in committed relationships but they are much pickier about what and who they will settle for. There are so many ways to meet people now and so many dating websites that people aren’t willing to settle. If there is something about their partner that they cannot stand they finding a different partner. People are not as afraid of moving on because something better may be out there, this is a very different mentality from several decades ago.
Satisfaction is coming from other places. People are replacing relationships with other things so they might not feel the need to have a committed relationship. Some people will focus on their careers instead of a relationship and that career goal is satisfying and they don’t feel the need for a committed relationship. They might fill their time with social activities like casual dating, hobbies, exercise, classes, or time with friends.
Marriage is outdated. It is becoming a more popular thought that marriage is outdated. It was necessary when only one person was working they needed it for insurance and that was how people started their families. Now people are not waiting until marriage to start having kids, they can commit to one person and have a family without being married. There is not as much negative stigma associated having children out of wedlock as there once was.
People are getting used to these changes in patterns and they are becoming more commonplace. Commitment is getting a little harder for people with all of the options that are open to them and staying in a committed relationship is going to take more work. While certain things, like marriage, may not be as common people are getting more satisfaction from other things and have higher expectations for relationships. Being in a committed relationship means more now than it did 100 years ago. People are expecting more from their partner and investing more when they finally do decide to commit to one person.