Relationship help

7 Ways to Self-Care Through the Breakup Blues

Self-care through the Breakup BluesThe shock and the mere hint of rejection can make you feel like you got hit by a train after a breakup. However, you can make a complete 360-degree recovery with an effective self-care plan. These are seven quick tips that can get you inflated and smiling again in no time:

1. Embrace the Grief Stages

Grief is normal. Everyone who loses something or someone significant goes through it. Accepting this concept and working through the stages naturally will help you survive your breakup.

2. Remember It Isn’t Personal

Many people fall into depression because they keep wondering what was wrong with them that made the breakup occur. Very rarely is a breakup one person’s fault. Sometimes the reason is that you just weren’t a good match. The perfect flame is out there for every bad match, so don’t beat yourself up over the loss.

3. Get to Know Yourself

The post-breakup period is a perfect time to spend time with yourself and get to know you. You will learn information about yourself that you never had time to learn when you were engulfed in a relationship.

4. Accomplish Something Great

Have you ever wanted to take music lessons, write a novel, or reinvent the wheel? Now is the time to do that and have fun doing it, too. Go do the one thing that you always dreamed about but never had the time to pursue.

5. Pamper Yourself

Give yourself all the love and care that you feel that you didn’t get from the relationship. Eat delicious ice cream. Get a manicure. Take a cruise around the world. This is your time to be loved even if it’s only by yourself. Self-love is some of the most spirit-lifting love you can get.

6. Hang With Supportive Friends

You should always make a point to surround yourself with supporters like friends and family members. This is especially important when you’re in the depressive stage of grief. Reserve a night of the week for activities like bowling, shopping sprees, or group movies. Try not to discuss the breakup unless you need some more advice.

7. Bless Yourself With Therapy

Schedule an appointment with a therapist so that you can have another person in your life who will support you and steer you in the right direction. The services that you can get from a therapist can be quite comforting and empowering if you choose the right one.

We offer therapeutic services for post-breakup clients. We also provide help with finances, divorces, and family issues. Contact us for a consultation to see if we can be a positive force in your journey of recovery.

Back to the Basics: Keep Your Relationship Alive

Happy Couple Cooking Together. Dieting. Healthy FoodThere are tons of sources and/or material to read, listen to, and interact with if we ever need help with our relationships. It seems most relationships would last because of this fact. However, the divorce rate continues to increase in our society, while many choose not to enter the union of marriage. Everyone has an opinion on how to make a relationship last, but everyone doesn’t put in the work to make it a reality. Action is way more effective than talking (in some cases) when it comes to our relationships. We just need to go back to the basics so we don’t lose sight of why our relationship is important to us. A few of the basic ways are listed as follows:

  1. Continue dating. Remember how excited it was to go on the first date with your partner. You looked forward to wearing a nice outfit, going to a new place, and just having a new experience together. This is what started the relationship, so it should never end.
  2. Make your home a work-free zone. We spend the majority of our time at work due to the fact that  most of us have 40+ hour work weeks. With that being said, make your home a work-free zone. Make your partner the main focus once you arrive home from work. Too often, we get involved in the details of our day and don’t realize how work carries over into our personal lives and relationship. Try to maintain the work/life balance by always keeping your relationship as the priority.
  3. Get away from it all.If you have a full-time career and kids, you understand how life can just get away from you. It’s important to take a step back and let it all go, for at least 15 minutes or so anyway. Decide what is best for you and your partner and make a choice to check-in daily, weekly, etc. Use this time without interruption from the kids, television, computers, or phones. This check-in time is all about the partnership you have and making an effort to stay connected outside of your daily obligations.
  4. Break the routine. Having a routine is great but it makes for a very boring relationship. Spontaneity can put the spark and desire back into a dull relationship. We are all creatures of habit in some form or another. Make a conscious effort to do things out of your norm. This will also show your partner you can go with the flow of things in order to make them happy.
  5. Never stop communicating.Communication makes a great foundation for a stable relationship. You should always talk openly with your partner because only great relationships exist in the light. Communication allows you and your partner to hold on to the good things, avoid the negative things, and to continue the work to maintain your bond.
  6. Know what makes your partner feel loved. We all give and accept love differently. Although we may  think buying someone a gift is the ultimate sign of love, your partner may feel that spending quality time is the best way. We can’t make our way of loving acceptable to our partner and vice versa. Have a conversation with your partner if you don’t know what makes them feel loved. That in itself could make a world of difference in your relationship.

These are just a few things you can do to make sure your relationship doesn’t fade away. Above all, never give up. Your relationship will last if you make the conscious effort to always try to make it work.

Three Ways Couples Can Have Fun Talking About Money

“What’s your net worth?”

Couples discussing financesIt’s the last question a person would dare ask on a first date, yet money issues are a top cause of failed relationships. While this magic number speaks volumes, net worth isn’t the only topic that couples need to talk about. Spending habits, income goals, and investment strategy are parts of a financial picture that influences compatibility and predicts relationship longevity.

Wouldn’t it be great to explore your partner’s financial habits and goals while strengthening your relationship? Upgrade your next date night with these fun ways to build fiscal responsibility together.

Vision Boarding

You could save money cutting coupons, or you could spend date night cutting out pictures of your wildest dreams. Vision boards are a creative way to start the conversation around goals and discuss ways to work towards your dreams together. Not only does this activity energize a couple around shared goals, it also gives them room to talk about ways to make these goals happen. Should you give up the cable subscription or work extra hours? Use your vision board as a reason to ask these sensitive money questions and partner around collective goals.

Couples Game Night

Don’t spend Friday night eating take-out and watching Law & Order reruns. Instead, invite a few couples over for a financial game night. Several board games increase financial literacy in a fun and engaging way including Cash Flow 101, The Game of Life, and Monopoly. Although we played many of these games as children, discussing your strategy with an adult mindset creates a learning opportunity for everyone in the room. Keep the dinner costs down by asking each couple to bring a dish to share.

Head to Head Challenge

What is it about competition that makes people work harder? Challenge your significant other to a contest that helps you make better financial decisions or reach your financial goals. For example, couples can race to save the most money over a six month period. The winner gets to take ten percent of the savings and decide how the couple will celebrate. Another good option is a no-spending challenge. The first person to spend money (excluding regular bills) has to submit to whatever penalty their honey has planned for them!

While money is still a taboo topic for many, couples should be comfortable discussing money and building their financial standing together. Use these proactive and fun ways to make money an open topic and strengthen your relationship.

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