Trust Issues: Betrayal vs. Early Patterns
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. Unless you trust the other person to be faithful to you, to be good to you and to tell you the truth, you’re not going to get very far in a relationship. Imagine a relationship in which you’re constantly suspecting that the other person is lying to you. This is not as rare as you might imagine. There are many relationships in which people experience a lot of doubt. Some are sure that the other person is lying to them about money. Others feel like they’re being cheated on even if they have no proof.
Why Do Trust Issues Arise?
There are times when this trust issue arises from a betrayal but there are also times when it’s completely unnecessary i.e., the other person might not be doing anything to betray your trust but you still have doubts about them. Sometimes, not trusting the other person is a pattern that people get into when they are young. Maybe they saw the same pattern existing between their parents. Or maybe their first relationship ended badly when they were at an impressionable age. Either way, people like this are never able to trust others because they’ve made up their minds that no one in the world is trustworthy.
Being with Someone Who Doesn’t Trust You
Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust you can be very frustrating. No matter how much you try to show the other person that you love them, they refuse to believe you. And they twist the evidence present so that it’s in their favor. Any little thing you do wrong is taken as evidence of your lack of love and your lack of trustworthiness. Being in a relationship like this takes a toll on the partner who is constantly running around trying to prove their love.
Can You Make Someone Trust You?
If this describes you, you need to take a step back and think about whether the other person really has a reason not to trust you or whether they just don’t trust you because of baggage they’re carrying around from the past. Because if it’s the latter, then there’s not much you can do to resolve the issue. But if their lack of trust arose because of a betrayal on your part, then you can try counseling, learn to communicate better and of course, behave in a trustworthy manner from that point forward.